Sunday, August 2, 2009

The Scary Things In Life



I have decided that it is about time that I share with you some of the scary parts of living in DC… They are called Thousand Leggers.. dun dun dunn. I heard rumors of them before I came but once here didn’t have to wait too long for an encounter of my own. Let me share a typical scenario..
It starts with a scream…. “Or a Leah..LEAH!!!” I come into a room where Michelle usually is perched uncomfortably on some piece of furniture as high off the ground as she can be… I automatically look at the point that is farthest possible from Michelle and most often that is where the bug is located. Melissa is a little braver, so she will actually get close enough to point out the bug itself.. but usually she points with some sort of an object.. just in case it decides to move quickly towards here… because they are very VERY fast little guys.. after all they do have a thousand legs. Then comes my part…

I get a clear container of some sort so I can keep my eyes on it the whole time.. my biggest fear is to have one of them squeeze out and crawl up my arm!! So usually I my tool of choice is a nice large Tupperware. Then I get a hard thin object that I can slide underneath. Now for the catching part.. always gets my heart rushing… even after ALL the times I’ve done it cuz in the back of my head I can imagine the horrible feeling of this thing crawling on me and it gives me the heeby jeebies just enough to get my heart rate up every time I go to catch one of these little guys.
Melissa will usually take one side of the room or object and stand guard in case it tries to escape.. and her job is to help scare it towards me so I can catch it. A quick explanation as to why we are “catching” this horrible critter instead of just “squishing” it on the spot is because if you miss:
1. It will run away and you chance losing track of it.. which can never happen because then Michelle with never come off of the furniture and everyone will be slightly on edge for the rest of the day.. Imagining that every little thing that happens to touch them is a Thousand Legger!
Or
2. There are much higher chances that you will end up with one of them crawling up your arm when you are trying to quickly thrust you arm at it before it escapes… You end up with it climbing up your arm as a means of escape from the crushing hand!! (That’s the scariest!! )
So… I catch it. Once it has been caught I go to the kitchen sink to do the dirty deed… at this point Michelle is insistently telling me “make sure you KILL IT!!”.. “Leah, make sure it is totally dead!”.. I assure her I ALWAYS kill them. I release it into the kitchen sink because then it is trapped and I can easily execute quick execution. I use a wet paper towel.. that way I don’t feel the crunch… cuz THAT I cant handle. Once done, the Tupperware goes into the dishwasher the remains and paper towel go into the trash, although im sure Michelle wishes we would burn them :). And we go on with our day.
My tally of how many of these horrific creatures I have killed is up to 27!! That’s way too many if you ask me! We did finally get the exterminator to come and spray and I think it might be helping.
...And Now you know ;)


The other day I killed one and its guts were PURPLE!!

4 comments:

  1. Leah...this is too funny. All your lizard experience has properly prepared you for these encounters !!

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  2. I am proud of you!!! A Modocer thru and thru! You must have been feeling something akin to what I felt confronting the mountain lion in our woodshed!!!
    Love ya!!!Be careful there in "the killing fields".

    Phil

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  3. OMGoodness Leah Ruth! Those bugs have got to be demons in disguise they are hideous! You are so brave, you are my hero. After reading this article we have postponed our coming until......I get brave enough to face those creatures! ;(
    That was a great blog. Love you lots!

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  4. Two weeks ago, a friend of mine told me there was a monster bug in my basement. She said, she didn't get it because she was barefoot, but that it was big and hideous. I found it a week later in my kitchen! Never saw those bugs in California. I sent her a link to your blog to check if this was the bug she saw. "Yes, she said... it traveled a long way from D.C. to Des Moines!"

    It's gone now, and just like a lofty thing, it looked worse than it really was. It really wasn't that substancial.

    I'm so excited to read about what you all are up to in DC. Thanks for writing this blog, it's so much fun. Give my love to Michelle. I think you ladies are awesome! Love, Angela Meijer.

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